Pete and I are intercoursing each other
by yeshornberger
Summary: What if Paula had reacted differently when she had heard those words. Pete/Liz in later chapters.
1. Breakup

"Yes. Pete and I are intercourse each other…" Liz said awkwardly as a cover up to hide the real reason she and Hornberger had been sneaking around. The rest of the writers groaned at this. It quickly went silent when Paula Hornberger, Pete's wife entered the room. She angrily threw Liz's wallet onto the table.

"This was in the car." She then turned to her husband. "Pete. What is wrong with you! First you lie about the vasectomy and then- THIS!" She shouted furiously.

"If I may Paula… I just said that because we are hiring a new cast member! I'm not really having sex with your husband…" Liz said, stepping forward.

_"Really?"_ said Paula. "Because I _really _don't know if I should believe you… I know you're bored with our sex life Pete!" Paula pushed passed Liz. Frank Rossitano stifled a giggle. Liz shook her head sharply.

"It isn't like that at all Paula!" said Pete, nervously.

"No. Pete it's over… no buts. Come by and pick up your stuff tonight…" She said, storming out of the room. Pete stared after his wife, mouth slightly agape until he finally collapsed back into a chair, holding his head in his hands.

"Okay, I don't know if this is an inappropriate moment but are there really gonna be new cast members?" asked Frank, receiving glares from Liz and the rest of the cast.

Pete nodded "I'm not sleeping with Liz... That's horrifying Frank... Just... none of you should tell the actors."

"Does no one notice me!" Josh said, frustrated. Liz looked at him and shook her head.

"His wife just broke up with him, easy Josh..." said Liz. Josh nodded apologetically.

"Okay... Liz, I'm gonna head back early... I can stay at your place right?" Liz nodded offhandedly. "You're the best Liz!" Pete hugged her, "Tell Donaghy why I'm gone..."

"Poor guy..." Said Toofer. "If you two hadn't engaged in this charade this never would have happened!" He said, everyone rolled there eyes at his British pronunciation of the word.


	2. bored

"Thanks for letting me stay here while everything starts to work out for me Liz..." Said Pete as Liz walked in the door.

"No problem Pete... You've stayed here before and this time and this time will be better because you won't be having sex in my bed... hopefully" She sighed.

"Ugh... I should call Paula" Pete collapsed onto the sofa.

"Go ahead Pete but she didn't seem very willing to believe you last time... You want some pizza?" Asked Liz, picking up the phone.

The bald man nodded "Yeah... but Paula was worked up then... maybe now that she's calmed down? I'm gonna call her!" He picked up is phone and dialed his home phone.

"Hello?" Said the voice of a young boy on the other line.

"Hey Buddy. It's daddy... I need to talk to mommy alright?" said Pete.

It took a moment for Paula to come to the phone, "Hey Pete. Listen. I wanna apologize for how I acted... I know you weren't sneaking around with Liz... I was really just looking for an excuse because I was the bored one and I was too scared to break up with you myself..."

"Doesn't really help me Paula..." Sighed Pete, rubbing his temples.

"Sorry... Listen I have a meeting with my lawyer on Thursday so... I'll talk to you later Pete..." said Paula, hanging up.

"Apparently she ended it because _she_ was bored..." Pete groaned.

"sorry Pete... wanna go get pizza?" asked Liz, patting her friend on the arm. He nodded "lets go"


	3. Pizza

**the-dark-poetess-911: I'm so glad you are enjoying my work... I just love the way these two interact :) the chapters will be longer soon but I've been pretty tired lately and so I have been writing like two words an hour but that will change :) **

"Gotta love a meat lover's pizza…" laughed Liz, taking a too big bite of her large, New York pizza.

Pete laughed "So, how's life been for you Liz?" he asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Ah, you know… I've been dealing with Tracy and Jenna a lot… so you know how that is…" Liz rolled her eyes at the thought of the two crazy, self obsessed actors.

"How's your quest to find the perfect man for Liz Lemon going?" asked Pete, awkwardly.

"Ah, you know… terribly" she laughed, pushing her chestnut hair behind her ear. "But you know… I don't really care at this point… I'm just mostly focusing on work…"

Pete smiled, "Well I'm a bald single guy in my late forties… I guess we're in the same boat now," smiled Pete, taking a bite of pizza.

"Well I guess we can be forever alones together… Together alone!" She raised her glass to Pete, who looked confused. "I've been trolling the internet for funny things and forever alone is this thing they call a meme!" she looked very excited at this new find.

"To us!" Pete clicked his beer bottle against Liz's slushee. Hey Liz..." said Pete, looking right at his friend.

"Yes, Pete?" She asked uncomferatably.

"Have you ever had a friend that, up until a certain point you just considered completely platonic and then one day you just look up and realize how great they actually are?" He was looking right into Liz's eyes in a way that made her feel... weirdly good.

"Yeah. I think I have, Pete." She smiled, nodding.

"Liz..."

"Yeah, Pete"

"Would it be totally weird if I kissed you now?"

"No."


End file.
